Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Happy Birthday To Me!


Today is my birthday. Whoopee! I will try not to sound cynical and sarcastic but, since those are my natural tendencies I doubt I will be successful. It did not even occur to me when I opened my eyes this morning, after my alarm went off prematurely, that it was my birthday. A lady on my van pool reminded me. I barely got my butt in the seat before she said, "we have a birthday girl today" in that excited way that only people that don't really know you can muster. I hate people who are happy first thing in the morning and I especially hate people who expect you to be happy first thing in the morning. I was walking into work this morning carrying a box of Cheerios and I saw a co-worker, whom I really don't care for, coming from the opposite direction. You know what made me smile at 7:15 in the morning? The thought of beating him about the head with the box of Cheerios. I am still smiling as I write about it.

I guess I could use this entry to reflect on the last 33 years of my life instead of being sarcastic about how fake people can be but what would be the fun in that? Seriously, if I were to reflect on my life, it would probably be filled with the same cynicism and sarcasm with which I look at everything else. Oh, I've had a few bright spots...my husband being the brightest of them. He has the distinction of being the one thing in my life that makes me smile whenever I think of or see him. After 12 years of being together, it still surprises me that we are still so happy together. I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop, so this relationship constantly amazes me as that proverbial shoe has yet to even appear.

It also surprises me that we have lasted because we are two completely different people. He is effortlessly social and outgoing while I find dealing with people a chore akin to cleaning up elephant dung. He is supremely patient and I am supremely impatient. He quickly forgives and I will hold a grudge even after the object of my disdain is dead. I think our relationship works because we respect and trust each other. We have the same goals and work together to accomplish them. He is not perfect but neither am I.

I think I've reached an age where I want to stop fighting with myself. I have tried to be what other people want me to be and my personality has prevailed through all of my attempts to quell it so that people will like and approve of me. My husband is the one person in the world that allows me to be who I am. I don't feel any pressure from him to be more friendly or outgoing or forgiving. He will gladly go to a movie with me weeks after it has opened because he knows that the initial crowds will ruin the experience for me. He understands that for me, complaining is therapeutic and allows me to get my feelings off my chest. And he doesn't make the mistake that most people make by trying to cheer me up before I even say what I want to say. He knows that I will get over it eventually and he just listens and sometimes he will even join me in my bitching. He never lets me take myself, or anything else, too seriously and he is not afraid to tell me when he thinks I am full of crap. I love this man. He is the best present a girl could ask for.

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