Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Procrastination

Why is it that there are some things that I never seem to get done or take forever to do? I have a long list of things that I need to do and somehow always find a way to put them off. Remember that CASA application that I talked about last year? It's still not done! There are two questions that I just don't know how to answer. I know that procrastination is fear so what am I afraid of?

1. The CASA application- I'm a perfectionist which is why I hate essay type applications. I will pore over every question longer than I need to and over think every word. I'm also afraid that it will be too much of a time commitment on top of everything else that I already have to do.

2. Baby basket for a friend of mine- I was supposed to meet her last week to deliver it but somehow rationalized my way out of confirming the time and place. The baby is due early next week! What was I thinking? Deep down I really have many fears of whether people really like me or if they're just being polite by pretending to be interested in me and I'm just not a social person. But, this occasion should have trumped my own personal issues. I'm really annoyed with myself.

3. Preparing for the Inman Park Festival- this is a no brainer. Over the past few years, I've gotten really tired trying to run my business and work full time. I'm burnt out. I'm not looking forward to the Inman Park Festival and have serious doubts about whether I should even be doing it so I just avoid all preparation for it.

4. Setting up life insurance- although I know this is necessary, all I can think of is that it's another bill. Bills and owing money make me anxious.

5. Finish reading "The Energy of Money"- it's a great book that has been very helpful to me but I just really find all the exercises draining. I really don't want to have to think that hard. Why must every self help book require that you write things down? I've been stuck on the "Treasure Map" section for 6 months now.

6. Implement marketing ideas- All of the marketing ideas that I had for the business at the beginning of the year have yet to be implemented. Marketing is not my thing and I can't afford to hire someone to do it. So I guess the procrastination here is a practical matter and just my lack of expertise in the area.

7. Email one of my farmer's markets and tell them I won't be coming back this season- Even though this market is not a money maker for me, I still feel like I will be making a mistake if I bow out now. With my luck, this will be the year the market finally becomes successful.

8. Call my dentist- I love my dentist but I hate the hygienist he has assigned to me. She is a very critical person. I've been going there for about 8 years and I don't think she has ever had anything positive to say about my teeth. They're not perfect I know, but I don't think they're that bad. She has no bedside manner whatsoever and never smiles. I realized why I dislike her at one of my recent cleanings. In some ways, we have similar personalities. That realization did not make me happy. I dread my routine teeth cleanings so I have been putting this off for a while now.

9. Update my blog more regularly- I find I can only write when inspiration strikes. I don't want to write something just for the sake of updating every day. Then again, maybe I'm just not that interesting.

10. Clean my bathroom- I really hate doing this anyway but I am still a stickler for neatness and cleanliness. Unfortunately, my bathroom has not seen a sponge or a mop in weeks!

I really need to get myself together. I can't allow my fear of failure and perfectionism to turn me into a slacker!

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