I keep thinking that I need a focus for this blog. I see so many others that are dedicated to some topic or another...politics, gardening, diets, nutrition, etc... I don't know if I want to this blog to be about a specific topic. I want it to be about a person...me...and my struggles with being fit, being happy, accepting myself and my currently crappy life. I'm sure it sounds selfish but I really think that I am my biggest project right now. My life is not the way I envisioned it in high school and I have to do something about it. I cannot continue this miserable existence forever. The first thing on my list is to get an esthetician license so I can leave this waste of time job. So, hopefully, I will be starting that in the next few months.
On a more positive note, for the first time in a long time, I feel like I am back on track with my eating and exercise. I exercised every day last week which I have not had the strength to do for some time. I've also been eating much better this week. I've decided that I need some kind punishment and reward system for myself to keep me on track with my eating. If I stick to my diet each week, I'll reward myself. If I don't, I'll have to penalize myself by doing something I really hate. Since I hate to run, I've chosen that as my penalty. The rewards change every week so this week, my reward is two scoops of sugar free ice cream from Ben & Jerry's. Yes, I know you shouldn't reward yourself with food, but I really want some. The penalty will be to run 3 miles. Of course I have to define what I consider cheating...anything with sugar or white flour, over eating fruits or whole grains, or any sugar free foods...except diet soda. Diet soda, I can moderate so I still drink it. I'm doing good so far. The idea of finally eating some ice cream is keeping me on track.